My hand is raised.
It’s safe to say that a majority of people have had this experience.
And you know that it stings.
I was talking with a friend who is a leader in his field and he said something so profound that it stopped me in my tracks:
The recruiting process preys on people’s insecurities.
OOF. That hit home.
You probably already know that people don’t get offered every job they interview for and most people would agree it would be an unrealistic expectation.
But, a recruiting process shouldn’t exacerbate the feelings of “is it me?” or “it must be me”.
In my experience, those feelings can be related to the stories that people tell themselves about a specific outcome.
And, sometimes it’s related to the processes, systems and tools that recruiting teams use.
Most times though, it’s a bit of both.
There’s a reason that dating and recruiting are often compared to each other.
The advice you receive before an interview is very similar to the advice you get before a date.
· Put your best foot forward
· Just be yourself
· Be confident
· Know what you’re looking for
And, if it goes poorly, the encouragement afterwards sounds similar too.
· There’s more fish (employers) in the sea
· They don’t deserve you anyway
· It’s their loss
· You’re too good for them anyway.
Then there’s the email that’s worse than a bad date
My (limited) dating life was back when VHS and cassette tapes were popular. Back then my phone calls were on a corded phone using a land line. They required the precise wedging of the cord and a closed door to ensure the privacy of the call.
When an interview goes poorly or even when you thought it went great and you get the “we’re moving forward with other candidates” email, it’s easy to assume it’s you.
It may even remind you of the person who didn’t like you back.
If you’re scanning this, here’s the juicy bit:
Don’t make it say something it isn’t saying, but don’t miss what it’s saying.
After reflecting on what my friend said, I’m sharing a few things from my seat as an executive recruiter and former corporate recruiting leader.
Recruiters aren’t incentivized to tell you why you got the email.
During my days as corporate recruitment leader, I wrote the emails that went out to candidates. And, I still communicate the news to people I interview. Recruiters aren’t incentivized to tell you why they are moving forward with other candidates because they don’t work for you.
You may get some actionable feedback at times, but you are often left without any tangible details.
It’s not saying that you did anything wrong.
It is saying that rejection stings because you’re human.
(kinda like that crush you had)
Become aware of your feelings and assumptions about the recruiting process.
Have you ever thought:
This is so frustrating.
It’s unfair.
It’s got to be me.
I don’t understand what happened.
It must be because__________.
And, The Big Why lingers in the back of our mind. It keeps us up at night.
They are the questions we try to silent because we don’t want to deal with the frustration, be disappointed, or feel the excitement only to be let down. Again.
It’s not saying that you definitely should have done something different
It is saying that there are dozens of possible reasons and many of them have nothing to do with you.
(Kinda like that crush you had)
I offer you this time-tested advice.
Practice Interviewing
Because
interviewing is a skill.
Yet, many people haven’t practiced it. Maybe you did once or twice in college and quite possibly, never.
You haven’t had to practice because a referral can buoy you through a process.
You haven’t had to practice because your previous boss works there and can vouch for you.
You haven’t had to practice because you were promoted.
The “we’re moving forward with other candidates” email is an opportunity.
Maybe you didn’t ask for it and you’d prefer give it back, but an opportunity nonetheless.
The single most effective way to be a better communicator during an interview is to practice.
Practice helps you confidently communicate your credibility – even in a 30 minute interview…scratch that – especially in a 30 minute interview.
The email isn’t saying that you aren’t well-qualified
It is saying that you can practice being effective at communicating your qualifications in way that others can easily understand.
Yes, it takes some discipline.
And time.
But you already know that investing in yourself is time well spent.
(if only your crush can see you now)
Get out there.
You’ve got this.